Breaking up Your Story into Beats

 

What scenes or story beats do you need to tell this story? You’ll add what you need to the basic framework you already have in your premises. Let’s work from the Jackie Chan Adventures premises we have so you can see how it’s done.

 

Basic structure of Jackie Chan Adventures: “Queen of the Shadowkhan”premise:

•Jade, as one of the main characters, is the star of this episode. Her character flaw is her need for peer acceptance/respect. This flaw motivates a whole chain of problems for everyone around her.

•We go to the end to see what, if anything, she learned. She learns not to succumb to peer pressure, and she realizes that indeed she did not succumb to Shendu’s pressure.

(Theme: Respect earned from someone you admire is better than respect from all others!)

•Jade’s initial goal is to be cool (have a tattoo) and gain respect. That snowballs as she begins to abuse the respect she gets from the ninjas.

•Shendu is the villain who uses Jade in an attempt to destroy Jackie Chan, Jade’s hero. Shendu also wants respect.

 

•The catalyst that started the story moving in the premise was Maynard’s tattoo. The catalyst was changed in the outline.

•You can see how all these story points are related.

•The first turning point, plot turn, or gateway is when Jade calls for help and the Shadowkhan fight for Jade instead of against her. Jade has unknowingly crossed over onto the wrong side of the fight for justice.

•Jade’s game plan includes getting a temporary tattoo and so on.

•About halfway through the script, she realizes that she has real power over the ninjas and convinces herself that she’ll use the Shadowkhan in the fight for justice.

But she’s on a downward spiral, deceiving Jackie, and her uncle, undergoing a transformation.

 

•The second turning point or twist is when Uncle tries to apply an antidote on Jade’s tattoo to save her. Jade hisses at him and summons the Shadowkhan. She has taken. to wear black. The tattoo has Jade under its power. She has passed through another. Gate.

 

The Outline 131

 

 

 

•Jade’s skin is turning ninja blue. It looks like Jade will come under the influence of

Shendu and end up destroying Jackie, who has been captured. This is the worst thing that could happen—the major crisis.

 

•The conflict or battle continues as Jade makes a critical choice and responds to Jackie’s please the Shadowkhan release Jackie. Jade and Shendu have a battle of wills over control of the ninjas.

 

•We have come to the climax as Jade wins. The tattoo is melted away.

 

•In the resolution Jade and Jackie have a reunion. Jackie tells Jade she has his respect.

Look at the premise along with these basic structure points to plan what scenes you’ll need. A rough estimate of scenes needed in a half-hour television episode (actually about twenty-two minutes of story in the United States) is around fifteen to twenty-five scenes.

You don’t want so many scenes that you have no time to develop any of them. And comedy scenes will probably take more time than action scenes. List the scenes you must have in order to tell this story, numbering them as you go. What you’re looking for are scenes that are necessary to advancing the plot.

We’ll need a scene where Maynard shows off his new tattoo at school and makes Jade jealous of the attention and respect it gets. What about a scene where Jade finds a symbol on one of Uncle’s magic books and inks it onto paper before pressing it onto her arm? Here we’ll see that the ink etches into her skin.

We’ll need a scene where Jade shows off her new tattoo to the other kids, and Maynard confesses that his tattoo is a fake. Another scene is needed to show Jade as she hides the tattoo from Jackie and Uncle.

We’ll need a scene where.

Jackie discovers the tattoo, and Uncle freaks out because it’s a symbol of evil. Continue to list in a sentence or two each of the scenes that you need to tell your story.

How many scenes did you list? If you have too many, combine some or find a different way. If you don’t have enough, then you need more complications.

Have you considered any changes that might make the story stronger? What new information can come out in Act II to complicate the plot? What twists can you add? See the more detailed information in Chapter 15 for more story structure tips. When you read the Jackie Chan outline near the end of this chapter, you’ll notice that there is a B plot with Shendu is trying to retrieve his book. There is an opening teaser as well.

 

Taking Pencil to Paper

 

 

•Get into the action right away and use plenty of action throughout.

 

•The thread of the story, reflected in all gags and dialogue, should be immediately apparent and weave through to the end.

 

•Principal characters must appear early.

 

•Reveal character through action, reaction, and universal emotions. Show relationships.

 

Show that you know the series characters. All action should be motivated and believable for those characters and within that series.

 

132 Animation Writing and Development

 

•The plot must be logical. Later developments need a seed planted early in the script.

Use unresolved questions and action throughout to hook your audience into watching until the end. All structure points must be there.

•If the story isn’t working in the middle, add more conflict. New information spins the

hero and/or villain off in a new direction. This information may be new to the hero or the villain, or the audience.

•Include the major gags, showing how you get in and out. Think broadly. Comedy

scenes usually go out on a laugh, so set them up that way. Build your gags, top them, and pay them off. Save the best gag for the climax.

•Watch pacing and timing.

•Know your location, where each door is. What’s the closing shot?

•Build your story, your chases, and your gags to a climax.

•If the outline is too hard to write, perhaps the main situation isn’t funny enough, you don’t have enough props, the structure is wrong, or there’s not enough conflict between characters.

•Have you told a good story in an original way?

•Is it funny? Keep your outline light and fun to read. Make it snappy.

Alternate Outline Formats

The sample Jackie Chan outline is written in narrative form. There are no numbers on the scenes because the format you see is the format that Sony uses. You’ll notice that character names, places, props, effects, and other points that the writer wanted to emphasize for production are written in capital letters. Frequently, outlines do not use caps in this way. Follow the format of each individual series.

Many outlines are instead written in master scenes like the one that follows. It’s often a good idea to number your scenes so that the story editor can easily refer to them as he gives you notes. The average animation script uses caps for character names only on their first appearance in the script.

How is your sample written?

 

1. ANCIENT GOTHIC LIBRARY—DAY

Inside this medieval looking library JACKIE makes a treacherous three-story climb up a ladder to the top shelf where he finds...not a talisman or a demon portal, but an important book for Uncle’s library: an unearthly tome with....

Revisions

•Do you need to add more action and peril, a life-threatening time factor (the ticking clock or ticking bomb)?

 

 

•Does everything move the story ahead with nothing extraneous?

 

•Is everything clear, specific, concise?

 

•Does the writing flow? Are there transitions between scenes?

 

•Did you write toward a big ending? Is there a twist at the end?

 

•Check your grammar and spelling.

 

 

Usually, you’ll get two sets of notes on the outline from the network.

(1.     programming, 2. censors).

(2.     Your story editor will also give notes and may require a rewrite. Make all the changes requested in the notes. This is a script for hire, not a script negotiation! Ask questions if you don’t understand.

Once (and if) the outline is approved, you’ll go on to write the script.

You might be paid separately for the outline, or you may receive payment for both script and outline at once after you’ve completed your script.

Here is an outline from Sony’s Jackie Chan Adventures.

Jackie Chan Adventures © 2003 Sony Pictures Television Inc.

Written by David Slack. Story Editor:

(Wright, Jean. Animation Writing and Development: From Script Development to Pitch. Focal Press, 012005. pp. 131 - 134).

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